the tao of dishwashing...

...and contemplating dijilog openess. It's as if a certain amount of open digital logging of conscious experience would somehow benefit the collective consciousness and Earth as a whole if its' intent was such. Less an "I" statement, and more of an I-n-i reflection that considers the integral point of view throughout it's egoic interpretations.

each dish serves us food for thought, and how you go about washing it determines how it will color the dishwater of your mind. left side of brain = tub A, right side of brain = tub B. Tub A's water is the wisdom of soap that washes leftover scraps from food for thought that may turn foul if left uncleaned. Tub B's pure water is the clearing rinse of knowledge and understanding that prepares your conscious dishware for incoming consciousness and experiences. meditation is washing your dishes and contemplating the open waters of formless awareness on the other side of letting all metaphors, including this one, go...

my heart is not a metaphor. I am REAL. I am the love that I manifest. I am vulnerable. I am the strongest force in the universe. I make Chi. I am a Chi Creature. Healing from the emptying of giving has filled me with more than I originally had to offer. My gratitude knows no bounds. To have loved is to have utterly existed and if I died this moment, I am happier for it. The winding waters of her tide and bright luminescence have showed me my next level of Self. Her reflections shudder my soul with accuracy. I plan to be a better human now more than ever. To earn her presence in my life, its worth it. If she decides the space between us is worth more than the space we create together, than I will honor her. My True Beloved is the God-force in and all around her and me and the universe's entirety. She is the most beautiful hologram of this Source I have ever known. I adore her. The authenticity of our communication is unparalleled. The infinite tapestry of her creativity ebbs and flows all over me like a shower of agape, pulling my eros ever upward. tangoing through galaxies of unlabel-able rhythms, our love makes dances of it all. raw food for mind in every effortless movement and disciplined practice. living our Truest Nature.

Allowing. Giving rise to the ordinary and witnessing the extra-ordinary in it. Owning just this. The blank blanket of conscious experience that coats and ruffles through out every particle and wave of life. Woven of super strings, and resonating with those in harmonic frequencies, usually most in pairs, then into clusters of human notes known as communal chords; the friends and family of pairs. Bonded by a shared blur of the subject/object framework of "reality", Chords and notes arrange themselves in societal symphonies that make sweet music of humanity for all the Earth to enjoy and get nourishment for their souls. Unfortunately, many careless wack noise-makers tend to get a lot of airplay, while the quiet roar of Love provides the white noise in and around all the dischordal chaos in ravishing fractal layers of intense, infinite, simplicity/complexity.

A good pair of lovers, spreading the sweet nectar of living love vibrations in their every action and interaction with the world are worth infinitely more than a hundred thousand individual haters of love who substitute a quest of vanity to fill their love-sized holes ALL humans are born with. THAT was a wee bit preachy no? lol

The paradox of my existence is that I like the dirt. I love the grime. I play in the gunk. The trash is my treasure. The rejected are my embraced. The wierder the more wonderful. The more off-beat, the more rhythmic to me. Cleanliness is a secret passion for me in another dimension of my Self that I don't often share with others. I practice to clean my soul so it is worthy of a life of full love and abundant offerings of gifts that shine through me, perhaps guiding others to the same raw rivers of divine being I taste on occasion and will never forget on my way to the Kosmic Ocean.

I'd like to give a shout out to Ken Wilber, who washed dishes while he wrote his first couple books and got started on his force-of-nature quest to help people like me realize a way to put their minds back together after the meat-grinder of the american politco-education/media consumption machine. I highly reccomend his work for those in need of a helpful map of EVERYTHING in general.

peace love unity having fun, safely getting work done, and knowledge will always reign #1

jezi a.k.a. the dishwasha, serving the crowd since 2003

Wow. What have I been on? Not on here much, that's for sure. I think I got the wrong idea with the whole blog thing... like people want to read what I think... duh. post some flicks! movies! tracks! jeez... I'm such an old fool. lol

The only comment I ever got was when I was talkin some straigh up silly-ass race debate ish. Nobody reads this shit. I wonder if they'll let me say shit on here. What the fuck is this? some form of voluntary thought transmission... will "they" let me do what exactly?

Well, I'm finna snap regardless. I'm not gettin any younger and I need to COME UP. I I I.... Self awareness clinging to egoic fantasy... following my heart. My purpose. It's wierd. I guess it's up to me to define that but I've always kinda looked out for those subtle clues from God or The Universe or Everything/Nothing/both/all of the above/below... it's so annoying. And yet, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I keeps it mad real on here. People act like they don't question why they're here. I mean, I guess it's easier to just chase one desire after the next without thinking much, but anyone who thinks, has to, at one point or another, contemplate the entirety of this experience and it's reason, or cause.

That's what I've been on here. A sort of casual, arm-chair philosophy if u will. Sometimes I try to take it mad serious... other times I just wild out and get poetic and abstract. It's fun to me that way but I realize that it's prolly uninteresting to most cuz when I look back at my old posts now, I'm like "this guy" LOL

I am glad I've documented certain points of view I've taken and assessed with regards to Hiphop and Yoga and al that type of stuff. At least it has a time stamp on it so noone can say I "bit" it later. Not like I really give a fuck, but hey, let's keep it real. I kinda do. If I have any purpose, I suppose its to grow. And that means, add-on to previousness. And to truly do that, I have try to do something "new" or at the very least, Integrally evolved... so if I integrate as many different influences into this one-ness that is is "me", and the expressions forth with; then at least I've made a valid attempt. Not letting the fact that we all have a tendancy to mimmick what we desire or admire the most, hold me back from actually DOING stuff.

So to anyone who might actually be reading this, tough. It's a reflection. Not some flashy entertainment site with all kinds of nice tidbits you can take in, relate to or not, download, watch, listen to, or just look at and make fun of. You have to read this and if u get anything out of my thought process. Cool. But it's more of a journal for me I guess, that for some reason I'm making public. Maybe one day I'll move on from reflecting on the process of blogging and actually get back to talking about stuff. This is all I got right now though.

At least I'm keepin it hella real. I'd like to give a shout out to bboydjronron for motivating me to at least do a lil something instead of just reading, like I was gonna do... of which I have a great book right now called Revolution and Evolution (which I still owe Steve 16 bucks for DOH!) by Grace Lee Boggs.

So I promise, the next post will be a reflection on that so hopefully it will have some more substantial content other than my vanity expecting more from itself than it knows it can muster.

back to the blogiverse

Yes I. Jæz I back in this piece after some login/transition to g-mail confusion...

I've been very candid about my views and experiences here and I often get a little paranoid about it, but never-the-less, I stand my ground. Why should I be secretive? I'm not malevolent in any way towards any entity. My positivity is not directly aggresive against the rampant negativity in my current so-called civilization. I'm not anti-anyone just because I'm pro Freedom, Justice, and Equality. If any entity feels threatened by that, it's not my fault. I try earnestly to remain neutrally observant but always leaning towards growth and excellence on behalf of humanity and kosmic consciousness in general.

My recent right knee issues have sent my mind spiraling in questions of what is right? Am I right to strive to be righteous in a wickid babylon? Is it vain to point out vanity? A thorough meditation on the matter of material existence as a spiritual witness always already knows the answers to these questions as simply breathing in the totality and exhaling all partiality. I must honor my observances and raise my voice while I still have it. I wrote a short poem on the way home from physical therapy the other day that started with this line:

One becomes aware of true humility
when one experiences their own true human fragility...

Ironically, this humility has invigorated my confidence in what little I do feel strongly about. To know, and truly believe in something mandates a stance for it. FOR IT. A positive movement to uphold that value and protect it from white-washing and weak-willed filtration of its core essence. I refuse to give into fear's yellow-bellied admittance that this is just the way of the world and who am I to try to change it? Ef that! I have a life, a spine, a mind, the skills and wisdom accrued from diligent practice and exploration into the truth of reality and I would be stupid not to use all of this for whatever its worth, to represent for the best humanity has to offer the universe through little-old me.

A vigorous stance for excellence is NOT unhealthily elitist. Quite contrary, it is humble to the core due to the obviously way unbalanced presence of those willing to live and possibly die to be the best human they can possibly be and those who lazily accept the present and devolving state of affairs to go along for wickid's ride to shiny carnal-satisfying hell. EF THAT! I refuse to recieve Jah's blessing of life as an apathetic acceptance of the weakness of the human condition. The superficial reality of our numerically accountable flesh and material product output/attainment cycle of nature exploitation is not me. I am heaven's imagination! A proverbial "what could be" verses the proverbial "oh well, might as well enjoy the instant gratification of what merely is."

All that said... I am putting my best feet forward from now on to strategicaly build a realistic heaven right here on earth with Jah's infinite blessings. And I don't egotistically take credit for creating this state of mind, for I am humbly standing on the shoulders of pioneers of free-thinkers and warriors for excellence before me such as Malcom X, MLK, KRSONE, and many more. Eff the BS. Lets take kosmic responcibility NOW.

Forever in the Tao, Love and Peace, Unity and Fun, Justice in the end is INVINCIBLE!

dijilog beboy philosophy

So the fusion of digital and analog definately has analogous implications in the field of anotomical mobility arts otherwise known as breaking or b-boying. This is 2005 and I'm not settling for that same old same old rivalry bullshit. Power vs style, dancing vs breaking, battling vs fun... all futile differentiations that are good as far as they go, but when a Hiphop practitioner is advanced to a certain level or degree of understanding of the medium, a much vaster space is created in which the freedom of expression is released to grow and develop. I've heard it called evolution this or true skool that, whatever. The point is, the element of Be-movement is not contained in the sum of all the little ego-centric universes that manipulate it to make themselves out ot be stars.

Give God more respect. The Creation of Hiphop has deeper, wider, and higher realms than this petty competition and bickering over bites, reputation, crew politics, and getting taken out. I'm not saying these facets don't have their place but they need to be transcended if their inclusion is to be healthily in line with Hiphop's bigger picture.

So after you take every b-boy out and prove your crew is untouchable, that every other crew and dancer is biting your shit, that "dancing" is for pussies and "breaking" is the real shit, then what? Where does that leave the culture? Gangstarr's last LP title comes to mind. Who are the real "Ownerz"? The one's who horde their skills and knowledge and use it only to glorify themselves/crews... or the one's who can do all of that but choose to keep an open mind, heart, and spirit to the collective as well as the younger generations to pass their skills on to?

A more encompassing awareness of the elements is crucial here, because no 1 element could exist without the love and appreciation of all Hiphoppers who keep the culture moving as a whole. I've often toyed with the notion of Love being the fifth element (de la el delicula) and its relevence could be emphasized that way but I also think that love is a little more foundational, or at least it needs to be if this culture is to continue to be a positive influence in the world. It definately seems to be one of the main things overlooked in the heat of the breaking scene right now.

It's getting more and more like the WWE everyday and that scares me cause that's wack as hell. The whole point of our culture is that we DON'T do the same shit as other cultures. We INNOVATE and PUSH ourselves and eachother but support and show LOVE at the same time. I'm trying to spread the Integral gospel as it applies here... Integration is the threshold stresser and the true avante garde instigator so those who intend to be at the top of their game in any domain need to develop their understanding of the depth and span of the term, to Integrate.

To Integrate is to take all things available for consideration in a given moment, context, or domain and embrace that which is beneficial while jettisoning all which is dead wieght or negative. A process that begins with a differentiation but is careful not to dissociate(or ignore), however by building a higher viewpoint breaking previously subjective realities down into objective aspects to this new approach, a more transcendant reality presents itself to one's Self. A transformation then occurs, sometimes radically intense and immediate, other times subtly and gradated over a period of time.

This happened to everyone reading this as they learned that words were on a lower level than sentences, and paragraphs then transcended and included these senetences, and so on. This also happened when all of us were going through adolescence grasping at many different ideas of who "I" was going to be. At some point all the positives from our various self-experiments were incorporated into a new higher Self that started the whole process over at a new level, continuously growing and developing, or regressing into shadow realms of pathology and denial if that's the case. When one dissociates a potential reality of self and excludes it from the possibility of being without sufficiently exploring all things to be considered within it, that ignorance, be it out of fear, hate, or arrogance is very detrimental to the overall movement of growth & development through the spectrum of consciousness.

To tie that back into B-boying or Hiphop in general, I feel the scene is dissociating itself within itself by stressing the competitive aspect too much and not realizing the inherent blessing of our unifying force... our common love of the culture. Too many practicioners are stuck at ego-centric levels of development, perpetually striking out at "other" to somehow benefit their little self. Thus the art of b-boying is a vehicle of validating their masculinity and power over all mortals and weaklings who dare to fuck with them. haha, I gotta love it. I'm kind of hating on it but I don't want it to go away... I think is so fucking dope that we have an alternative to actual violence when it comes to beef and that eternal quest to prove ourselves. I just feel that a balance must be maintained by those who are big-minded and bog-hearted enough to open up a loving embrace instead of constantly being on that power-trip ego nonsense.

It felt good to just get thorugh that little tie-raid, as a be-boy, I feel inclined to represent my gut feelings for me and those who might not have the abilities to state it as I have. I know I don't represent the majority, but that's why I feel it's even more important that I speak up a little bit this way that I can. I'm a always do this culture for the love and art of it, even though I see myself getting dope enough to start taking toys and clones out in battles and such, that is not my primary motivation.

I'm always battling myself in the sense of previous limitations I've encountered at prior stages or levels of development with my craft. But if a sucker steps up when I KNOW they on some weak shit, best believe I aint gonna keep this talent I got secret. Plus I believe in a playful battle mentality I still hold valuable from my experiences with Capoeira. So when people I know can take me out challenge me, I'm not going to back down. I'm going to push my self and learn what I can do to improve against that more experienced or skilled "opponent".

I have to address the feeling I get when I see my influence directly resultant in what some call "biting". I catch people incorporating shit I've done in fits of truly being a catalyst of originality and I gotta say, I want to call them out on it a lot. But my humility usually pervades as I realize that I probably do the same thing all the time no matter how original I intend to be. It's natural but at the same time, I see haughty MF's get all worked up when they see their influence realized in an "other". Now don't get it twisted, if someone straight up chomps a move or pattern and claims it as their own, they need to be regulated like corporations who break copyright law. Fuck the bullshit. But I see cocky mf's getting way too carried away with this when they could just as easily and far more effectively take that imitation as flattery and respond by pushing the bitten move or pattern beyond the level of application said "biter" just presented.

Not only would this benefit themselves more but it has a greater impact on Hiphop as a whole because it shows how we can build off eachother's energy without trying to overshadow or destroy the motivation of those who might unwittingly or even consciously emulate the innovators. In fact, I will go as far as to say it is incumbant upon the innovators to humble themselves and take responcibility to carefully handle a biting situation with care and still handle the business of setting things straight. Hiphop is now getting mature enough that this should be a common occurence and an area where we can superceed wack institutions version of competiton and rivalry as it applies to a culture's healthy worldview and embrace of all its practitioners with love and respect.

word. peace.
beboy Humble, Connect Force
Jæzi the dishwasha, 3be
dijilog provelopment, AQ

sketchpoem, gratitude, and pop culture rant

provelopment, ina word
intelligence transducers ergonomically curved
canvas user interface, sonic leaps chirp
programs move per innerspace, reacting to grace
dijilog fusion enables gradiations of thinner grades
almost to the point when linearity disintegrates
a 3d landscape, polygonal simple nature
macromediums manipulated motivating spur
of the moment transformations occur
mindbrush strokes bleed into eachother
lines of development overlap blur
dijilog provelopment next chapter...

Jaiku 1.1

-thank you note

to my pretend God.
Thank you for always being there when the real God was busy with all the other whiners.

to the real God.
You look familiar. (I know). But seriously... I'm grateful eternal for the eternal great fullness of our infinite personal relationship. The emptiness you have blessed us with in which to blossom and grow closer to you and yet tragically refine into finitude. It's pure art creating Art, or the other way around..., either way I humbly bow in attempts to honor the creative gifts I've been given. I freely give these ideas to the web, a tool of both good and evil, to continue the eb and flow of this spirit of progress.

something show zen... mtv's answer to hbo's post-apocalection only this time, with, you guessed it. Satire. Oh, and not just you're average every Simpson's episode satire. No. We're talking total edge pushing slaps in the face til it hursts your sense of humor, not your feelings anymore. I don't know whether to laugh or go join a Michigan militia sometimes with these guys, I mean, c'mon. You gotta love this stuff. KIDS doing to grown ups on a very small scale what the brainwashing, toy-buying psychoactivated ADDist propaganda we are hurling their way does to them, but more directly. The MTV generations deserve it but they're killing themselves. It's not Music anymore, but it is still on a mission to the moon, reflecting more and more of the darker sides of humainty in attempts to continue the corner it has in that market. Good business, questionable ethics. I definitely think it's their most cathartic art yet and the relevance of the subject matter is refreshingly maccabre. However, borderline psychotic could be another way of looking at it. I feel a slight disintegrating shard fest of politically conscious revolt with not so much real positive resolve or spin of alternative thought. It's kind of like a clockwork orange-effect. But where's the Ludwig Van?! FUCKING FAKE ASS "MUSIC" hellavision. WACK WACK WACK real musicmedia broadcasting needs to emerge and drown this sludge out. live music from all over the world, all the time, anytime, anywhere, with video or without, no commercials, with mixed media shows and public service announcements set to music, open submission but quality controlled by elected committee. These officials will be our representives in media culture. It's their job. where are they? We are them. MTV is wack. Should we save it or shit all over it? I dunno. MTV and Hollywood are like those fine hoes you want to fuck but that's it. I'm still thirsty for more Earth Goddess booty in the streamwaves. Where's independant music's IFC channel? Someone's asleep at the wheel again. Get me a comcast contract with a budget, I'll give you dumbcrusher plus. Media warriors covering the frontlines of underground culture uprisings, the definitive juxtaposition to deafening jams of lies and greed. Rick, Russ, and Reality should help me start that shit over, for real. The children need Mr. Rasta's Neighborhood. The digital music revolution needs a new avenue to erupt and disperse the world's talent back into itself. hmmm... Cable/broadband stream Access on a global scale. Could it work? Isn't it more like a human right? Don't the masses deserve access to informational distribution being capitalized on so thoroughly by the big corporations? word. Independentegral.
dijilog out (copyright 2005 dijilog provelopment)
peace

contemplative graf ID

(from a post on www.templeofhiphop.org forum)...

it's important to contemplate through grafitti, who you are and why you do it. You tag is your aeresol projection of your intentional Self but if you really let go and fall into the creative process, an emergence of your deep subconsciousness will occur in your work. Embrace this and prepare to face shadows as well as immense light. Try to use the process as self-therapy as well as a bigger picture form of journalizm if you chose to take your message to the streets. Consider your environment and those who will view it, but don't compromise the premise of your intention to appease them. If it takes a visual assault on these sleepwalking mutherfuckers to insitgate change, then as a representative of the Kulture of freedom, bomb that shit sun!

I started bombing to represent my boy's brother who died falling on the third rail running from cops. It was ironic that the tag was serv, because I felt that I was serving a purpose at first. Then the ego kicked in as I got better and I developed my own tag and styles so I'll be the first to admit, biting was crucial to get started. Everyone bites at first, it's where you take it from there that defines you as an innovator.

Pardon self if I'm getting too philosophical, but the technique side of it is only one dimension. The difference between a toy and a true writer, to me, is the scope of vision applied through this artistic medium. Seriously, grafitti is the hardest element because it's still very illegal in most circumstances and therefore, the most powerful statement one can make as an act of defiance and revolutionary consciouness. Discipline and honor become the cornerstones of an art warrior, with technique and content as our weapons. One more thing, then I'll stop the sermon(hehe), all the elements of Hiphop are inter-related, interdependant even, so practicing b-boying is going to influence your stroke styles, freestyling is going to increase your ability to improvise on walls or canvas, and mixing records is going to help your ability to mix themes, styles, and colors... so engage in as many as interest and resonate with you and Hiphop will support your efforts. This is a blessing!
peace
Jæzi

thematic addict

1:59 AM and I"m just getting started. But as a devout artist of either bliss or painful catharsis, I toss myself into the crashing wave of extremes, surfing with every shred of awkward clamoring for the shores of calm redemption. Chain smoking and digging through muck media in search for meaningful intelligence. Highlights are meals, snacks, and warm cups of honey sweetened caffiene amidst attempts at entertainment and marketing directly to my now thoroughly embedded digital identity.

Art really drives me. Anything rendered of the human imagination presents itself to me in a supra-real glow of wonder and dazzle. These are my people. I am not a race, ethnicity, gender, class, nationality, academic or soldier for anything other than the creative force and those who wield it are my own. My enemy's enemy is my friend. It's probably a little narcissist to feel so strongly about all the creativity available directly to 'me' and therefore attach it's greatness to me in some way, but I humbly offer my intention to only glorify this force with itself, not my stamp of approval. I honestly just can't get enough of dope human ingenuity. I don't think I ever will.

Probobly because I know that I'm a never ending source of wackness (as well as dopeness), but more often than not I look for dopeness in others as inspiration to get over my wack slumps or see my wackness as kind of dope in way, anyways.

hence, my descent/ascent into www.deviantart.com under the guise of jæzthetics...more to follow